i havent written for a while, sorry about that. but last week i had Isaac and hazel give their eulogies in front of me. it was actually pretty entertaining, being able to interrupt and correct them made me pretty happy, as happy as i could be during one of the saddest things ever. i know normal people would never want to do that and hear what they have to say but why not? its like i got to hear what they had to say and their opinions on me, they were giving their eulogies for me and not for the people at my funeral. Hazel said i gave her forever within the numbered days, thats pretty awesome because even though i didnt get that huge impact i always wanted to make, i made one on her and i love her. its kind of weird i feel like some how ill have more time and things will get better i know i made a big deal about the prefuneral but this gut feeling is really good actually. Anyway theres this hoop at the hospital here downstairs, and i went down there and shot a little from my chair it w
Ive been having a fine time. its getting worse and i cant really do much and it sucks because i know this cant be good. but ive just been chillin, i cant be too upset because ive done what ive wanted to do, i wish i had time to do more, and im thinking maybe i will. i think it can turn around and be good but i guess we will just see. my families been here, i mean everyone, sisters, in laws.. all that fun stuff. nieces and nephews going crazy. its a bit over whelming but i guess i like it. i mean it shows they care. the look my parents give me when they think im not looking is the worst part out of everything. it just makes me feel kinda bad, like im hurting them when i dont mean to.. i know theyll be fine though, i mean look at all these kids running around.
its back, the cancer is back. ive known for a little while no but i dont wanna talk much about it, hazel doesnt even know. i just thought id tell you.
Peter Van Houten was mad at us.. and it wasnt like a mad at the world kind of mad. it seemed really personal for some reason, like he was really mad at me and Hazel. i was trying to figure out why but i havent come up with anything yet. such a weird feeling, trying to shake it though.
